The Best Part of GQ July: Baby Names
The best part of July’s GQ magazine [July 2013 – Drake on the Cover] is an article by GQ correspondent Drew Magary on the absurdity of today’s baby names. Mr. Magary feels that we are edging faster to the world crumbling in on itself using names like: Jaxxon, Branlee, and Scot’t. Here is a brief breakdown of his helpful baby naming rules…
1. Do not invent names. He points out that most inventions fail and do not even get past the patent stage.
2. Think hard if a cool name is really cool. A reminder that names have to last a long time.
3. Kooky names at least better have a good story.
4. Don’t abuse the letter ‘Y’. We are reminded ‘Y’ is not a MEGAVOWEL.
5. Ease off on the XXTEME letters: less abuse of ‘X’, ‘K’, and ‘Z’.
6. Avoid double letters. Especially watch for double ‘E’s and double ‘N’s.
7. Generally don’t name your children after:
A. A TV Network
B. An item in the Pottery Barn catalog
C. Any character from Twilight
D. A Car
E. A New Age exercise method
H. Any celebrity baby
8. Don’t use apostrophes – it is never needed.
9. Finally think about the kid and not yourself!
Drew Magary is an author and his new third book, Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood is out now.